Saynine

Sub-Space, Wish You Were Here

I recently put out to the twitter world that I was looking for questions. I have decided to write and post more often and I am often asked questions in Private Messages, so this seemed to be a perfect opportunity to generate inspiration. So I asked, and not 30 seconds later there it was staring at me.

Can you define “subspace” in your blog? I have an idea what it is but have never experienced it.

Ugh, no seriously. There is almost no way to answer this question that will not almost certainly piss someone off, or generate a storm of criticism. So right off the bat I am going to address why I have no business answering this question, and then in very typical style for me, do it anyways.

I am neither a sub, nor a switch, nor even a bottom, thus I cannot possibly form an informed position or opinion on what sub-space (or as some folks insist “bottom-space”) is. I learned this lesson when my ass was handed to me because I made the mistake of commenting on the fact that vibrators may affect female orgasm over time. The League of Sex Blogging Authority told me in very certain terms, that since I was lacking a clitoris, I had no business discussing this subject at all. . . . .  No I lied; I learned no lesson at all.

The second problem is that it is nearly impossible to find two people who agree on what sub-space is, or how it is achieved. So as in the previously mentioned controversy I intend to use information I have gathered from my direct observation, anecdotal information, and the direct assistance from some friends who are more qualified to comment as they have in fact achieved this mysterious state of being.

The “sub-space” vs. “bottom-space” question apparently revolves around the question of whether a person can achieve this state only through physical pain, which generates mind-altering chemicals, or if actions of submission can generate the same response. Of course this is only conjecture. It would seem that our brain would create these altered states as a form of protection, to blunt the impact of difficult circumstance. Now as I discussed in a previous post, I am convinced that submitting and receiving pain in a consensual situation are not all that different. I think they are both struggles against what can be thought of as situations that humans don’t normally experience. So as an extension of this argument, why wouldn’t the human mind have the capability to generate a protective response in a situation of having ones control of their environment and even actions removed? So In my rarely humble opinion, this argument is best left for folks who are far more concerned with such hair splitting than me.

So what does sub-space feel like? I asked my friend kitty (@The_Sub_Mission) for help with this.

Subspace for me, is a very deep, relaxed state that feels almost trance like. When I am in subspace, I tend to talk in third person. “Kitty will get that for you, Master.” I am very driven by direct orders, and have a hard time thinking for myself. Responding to anything besides direct “Yes Master” or “Right away Master” becomes difficult. Words escape me, and I have a hard time remembering them. Truthfully, when I get so deep that talking becomes difficult, Master will pull me out a little bit until I am able to speak a bit better. This always makes me a bit cranky. While I don’t snap or anything on the outside, the little voice inside my head is always upset when Master does this. Subspace is very pleasant for me, and getting pulled out is not fun.

Kitty also added;

I have found that the quickest ways for me to achieve subspace is when Master either deprives me of one or more senses (vision, touch, etc), or having a very high protocol scene. The more rules that are implemented in either our play, or our daily lives, the quicker I will reach subspace.

I do not reach subspace every time we play, and subspace is not usually the goal of play.

Her latter statements clearly indicate that kitty, can reach sub-space through non-pain oriented play.

As a Dom/Sadist/Top, I find that sub-space can be a double-edged sword. Sub-space can be delicious to induce. Like orgasm it can be used as a signpost that what you are doing is working. Many sub/bottom play partners also desire it. The down side is that it shifts even more of the responsibility for the physical and mental safety of the bottom to the Top. In this state the bottom often cannot judge their own physical state. As kitty mentioned, it is sometimes necessary for her Master to pull her out a bit. I have been in the situation where I felt it was necessary to dial play back a bit, or take a break due to a deepening sub-space.

There is an anecdote that has long stuck with me. It was related to me by the Master of a slave that was known for her very rapid decent into a deep sub-space. A gangbang situation had been negotiated and the slave desired this. During the course of initial play she quickly achieved a very deep sub-space. This was not unexpected and the gang-play proceeded. Sometime during penetration she came out of space for unspecified reasons and was agitated that she was being penetrated by someone other that her Master. Now this is obviously an extreme and cautionary tale, however it does serve to underscore the consideration that must be given by the partners of anyone prone to descending this far in altered consciousness during play. It is not at all uncommon for a bottom to not be able to form the decision necessary to use a safeword during intense play induced space.

I have never heard a sub/bottom complain about entering or experiencing altered space, and in fact I have often heard it described as similar to the euphoria of post-orgasmic haze. I can say that if it is anything like the pleasure I experience while in a Top-driven space, then it is likely semi-addictive.

I think it is very likely that like so many parts of the human pleasure spectrum sub-space is different for each person who experiences it. And that I am quite confident I do in fact have the knowledge on which to base my comments.

 

 

 

Tags: BDSM, bottom, pain, Play, submissive, subspace, Top, Training

Much Ado About Punching

I was recently asked about punching in play on an anonymous question forum. I believe the question was prompted by some recent mentions of a play date that involved some fist pounding.

The question was this; “For your impact play (as in punching) what medical training have you gone through to perform it safely?”

I think this is an interesting question and due to the nature of the forum I cannot tell if it was posited as a legitimate query of interest or a bit of a snarky jab. But either way I have expanded on my answer here;

The simple answer is NONE! and quite frankly I don’t believe there is any amount of “Training” that can make punching or many other forms of edge play safe. At the same time as someone who spent a substantial part of his first quarter century punching and being punched I wonder if I don’t know more about it than most medical professionals. I have had my nose broken, lower teeth pushed through my lip and I have pissed blood for a week more than one time. I have delivered blows that made men feel like they were in a car wreck. I lived through all of them and learned much from them.

When I truly punch someone it is to either protect myself or punish the recipient, my target exist somewhere behind the body mass I am punching and as my arm is extended it is beginning the reflexive withdraw for the next blow. Would I do this in a scene? Never! Could this be done with any medical safety? Unlikely,and I hope not. This is my weapon and it has served me well. Not to mention that the most likely first target is somewhere on the cranium of my intended recipient.

I started pondering this question when I first had a bottom mention to me that she liked to be punched. I wondered first of all what did she mean by “Punched” and quickly found that what she thought of as punching was far lighter than what I would consider a punch. The play she described and had experienced as well as what I find that many people refer to as punching in a scene I would consider a percussive pounding using my fist. The force of these blows I would say are less than my punch by a magnitude of 5 or more.

Does this pounding carry some medical danger. I would say yes as would any play that can impact or bruise the skin or muscle tissue.

This brings us to the question of SSK (Safe, Sane, Consensual) vs. Rack (Risk Accepted Consensual Kink). In my not so humble opinion Safe is a ludicrous word to use in what we do. If it was safe it would hold little interest for many. Do I do my very best to understand and control the risk associated with what I do, and do I carefully inform my partners as to what I perceive the risk to be and what I will do to mitigate it? Absolutely.

When asked at a recent play party by someone I had agreed to play with if I would include some punching, I clarified that she was referring to the percussive impact using my fists. I find that it is very often the back side of a clenched fist adjacent to the pinky that is very effective. This is commonly referred to as a hammer fist. An advantage of this area is it is mostly muscle tissue without the bony impact of the front of the fist. I also am fond of reaching around the person and using the top of my clenched fist near my thumb. I find that this incorporates the control and dominant positioning associated with “Take Down” as well as a limited impact pounding.

Recently I was asked by a bottom to consider punching her in the stomach hard enough to lift her off off her feet and knock the wind out of her. Am I considering? Yes as a matter of fact I am.

Tags: Impact, Punching, RACK, SSK, Training