Saynine

The Beautiful Dimming Light

I have always loved choking partners. Whether it be to full unconsciousness or simply the installing of fear and exerting control. And while it is one of the most controversial forms of edge play I believe that it can a beautiful form of play between informed partners, And while I have linked here to one of the most vocal detractors of “Breath Play”, I simply do not agree with his global condemnation of it.

When I refer to choking in this essay, I am actually referring to control of a partner by hands or arm holds on the throat, and the actual process of causing a partner to become unconscious by temporarily restricting blood flow to the brain. Also known as a “Blood Choke“. I will not instruct on how to perform such acts here.

Choking was one of my very earliest expressions of kink. In my early teens i put my hands on the throat of a girl that I was fucking and squeezed. I had no instruction as to prior consent for such acts, only consent for sex itself. I am quite fortunate in that the girl enjoyed this and did in fact consent. This desire to choke is something I have carried and often struggled with for now over 30 years.

I have in the last few years added in using my belt for this play, and even more recently acquired a choking collar that has an additional leather flap that eliminates the pesky problem of skin being pulled into the buckle.

I have wondered what it was like for the other partner. What they feel. Some show fear. But recently I have started playing with a partner that shows no fear. I have referred to her as “Cat Allergy Girl” on twitter because4 her allergies and my pet ownership were an initial partnership. But her Fetlife name is Purple_Platypus. PP recently wrote a short essay on how it feels to be choked out, after a play session in which I choked her unconscious six times in less than two hours.

 

Choking, I like it. I like to see the world dim, feel the humming in my ears, the tingle of my fingers. I like to watch him, look him in the eyes as he chokes the light out of mine. I don’t fight it, I welcome it. I think I smile, but it’s hard to tell. I’m busy feeling. I don’t struggle, I just let it come. The darkness. It slips in from the corners, you don’t notice it at first, but then it’s like looking through a tunnel. I focus on his eyes, he’s a little fuzzy now. I hear the hum starting, I feel it in my head. Now my hands tingle, it won’t be long now it’s like looking through a pinhole, the darkness is swallowing me up. I’m not afraid. I let it swallow me whole and all the lights went out.

The second act;

I hear something, what is it? And why do my arms tingle? I like it, I’m still in the dark, I can’t see, but I can feel. It feels like the hum in my ears is running electricity through my body. No pain, just tingles. Gently I begin to remember, I come out of the dark and what I feel is joy. No fear, no worry, no stress, no pain, no thiught, just joy. I can see his eyes now, he’s been watching the light come back in my eyes. I smile or maybe I was already smiling.

Her conclusion;

I know it not the last time I’ll watch the lights go out.

I hope you enjoy this peek from the other side as much as I did.

Please do not participate in any play that both or all partners are not well aware of, and consent to the risks associated. I have been successfully choking people for years, and PP has been participating in Judo for years, she has been choked out many times in her Judo practice.

Tags: BDSM, Breath Play, Choking, Consent, Play, RACK, Top, Trust

Much Ado About Punching

I was recently asked about punching in play on an anonymous question forum. I believe the question was prompted by some recent mentions of a play date that involved some fist pounding.

The question was this; “For your impact play (as in punching) what medical training have you gone through to perform it safely?”

I think this is an interesting question and due to the nature of the forum I cannot tell if it was posited as a legitimate query of interest or a bit of a snarky jab. But either way I have expanded on my answer here;

The simple answer is NONE! and quite frankly I don’t believe there is any amount of “Training” that can make punching or many other forms of edge play safe. At the same time as someone who spent a substantial part of his first quarter century punching and being punched I wonder if I don’t know more about it than most medical professionals. I have had my nose broken, lower teeth pushed through my lip and I have pissed blood for a week more than one time. I have delivered blows that made men feel like they were in a car wreck. I lived through all of them and learned much from them.

When I truly punch someone it is to either protect myself or punish the recipient, my target exist somewhere behind the body mass I am punching and as my arm is extended it is beginning the reflexive withdraw for the next blow. Would I do this in a scene? Never! Could this be done with any medical safety? Unlikely,and I hope not. This is my weapon and it has served me well. Not to mention that the most likely first target is somewhere on the cranium of my intended recipient.

I started pondering this question when I first had a bottom mention to me that she liked to be punched. I wondered first of all what did she mean by “Punched” and quickly found that what she thought of as punching was far lighter than what I would consider a punch. The play she described and had experienced as well as what I find that many people refer to as punching in a scene I would consider a percussive pounding using my fist. The force of these blows I would say are less than my punch by a magnitude of 5 or more.

Does this pounding carry some medical danger. I would say yes as would any play that can impact or bruise the skin or muscle tissue.

This brings us to the question of SSK (Safe, Sane, Consensual) vs. Rack (Risk Accepted Consensual Kink). In my not so humble opinion Safe is a ludicrous word to use in what we do. If it was safe it would hold little interest for many. Do I do my very best to understand and control the risk associated with what I do, and do I carefully inform my partners as to what I perceive the risk to be and what I will do to mitigate it? Absolutely.

When asked at a recent play party by someone I had agreed to play with if I would include some punching, I clarified that she was referring to the percussive impact using my fists. I find that it is very often the back side of a clenched fist adjacent to the pinky that is very effective. This is commonly referred to as a hammer fist. An advantage of this area is it is mostly muscle tissue without the bony impact of the front of the fist. I also am fond of reaching around the person and using the top of my clenched fist near my thumb. I find that this incorporates the control and dominant positioning associated with “Take Down” as well as a limited impact pounding.

Recently I was asked by a bottom to consider punching her in the stomach hard enough to lift her off off her feet and knock the wind out of her. Am I considering? Yes as a matter of fact I am.

Tags: Impact, Punching, RACK, SSK, Training