Impact
Confidence and Broken Fingers
Jan 5th
Confidence, knowledge, and intuition. These three things may be what make me what I am. A Dom. A Sexually Dominant Male. I am also a Sexual Sadist. Whether these two are interdependent on each other is debatable. But I do know that without knowledge and intuition I cannot have confidence and confidence is the flag I fly that lets submissives know that I can and will deliver the experience they are looking for.
This is a story of how my confidence nearly failed.
Jewelgen and I had not had an opportunity to play for quite a while. We have teenagers and playing hard while they are in the house simply isn’t an option. An opportunity came up that both the teens would be gone for the weekend and we decided that this would be a very good opportunity to play hard and push in areas we had not explored together.
Our play started slow as we eased away from out equal roles as mates and into our play roles as Dom and submissive. I started with some light spanking and eased into some nipple torture. The progress of the scene was exactly as I hoped and Jewelgen was moving steadily into a subspace. I knew we would be able to move into some bondage and impact play at the rate things were progressing so I ordered her to her knees and blindfolded her with an ace bandage.
I brought out my coils of hemp rope and began by tying her wrists behind her back in an overlapping fashion and tied a harness on her torso so I could pull her hands upward behind her back. From there I began increasing the tit torture and alternated between spanking her tits and ass. All of the signs of deepening subspace that I wanted showed themselves. Her breathing slowed and became steady, she was aware but subdued and accepting the play with an obvious gratefulness.
I continued to change up the play slowly increasing the intensity and mixing in stimulation of her pussy. She reached orgasm several times and I knew my objective was in site. I had wanted to cane her for quite some time, and while we had done some light tapping I wanted to mark her. To see the welts rise on her ass and to hear her gasp from the blows. I tapped for quite some time on her ass and thighs and was beginning to prepare her for “Counting” a favorite game of mine. During impact play I like to give the sub a number, like 10. I tell them that I will be delivering the given number of blows, however they will be responsible for only counting the truly “good” blows, and if they count ones I deem to soft then I will decide which ones get counted.
I noticed though that her shoulders appeared to be uncomfortable and so I released the arms and wrists slightly to allow her some relief. And then I made my second mistake. I removed her blindfold. It had been my intention to do the counting game a little differently. I usually build in intensity but I was going to start of with a very serious blow. She had been quite warmed up and I relished in the surprise of the stinging cane strike on the first count.
I brought my arm with my Rattan Cane back to swing and released. *This is when the movie switches to slow motion* As I swung the cane I saw what was happening but had fully committed to this blow and simply could not stop. Jewelgen had seen the motion of my arm out of the corner of her eye and instinctively dipped her now barely bound hands in front of her ass. Thwack, the cane landed across the knuckle side of 8 fingers. She screamed in agony and I knew instantly that I had broken her fingers. I untied her quickly and got Ice bags and Ibuprofen and set her on the bed. I held her and apologized and I knew I had made a horrible mistake that we would never recover from.
But this is not the nature of my wife. The fingers were not broken. Enormous hematomas appeared on one hand and smaller ones on the other. I held her for hours and apologized profusely. She had to make up some clever stories to explain her fingers at work but she recovered. But, I seriously wondered if I would. This was my fault. I had failed. My knowledge and intuition had not told me that this would happen. How could I trust myself? How could I be confident? Without confidence, could I be a Dom? My God what would Jay Wiseman say?
I struggled with this for quite some time. I played, but it was more subdued. Then the answer came from a very odd place. We attended a class on CBT at the local dungeon and during the class the presenter said “If you don’t make mistakes you aren’t playing hard enough and you are short changing your bottom”. Jay Wiseman snorted. But I thought about what he said, and he was right. My biggest mistake had been not expecting to make mistakes. My knowledge and intuition prepare me to help reduce mistakes and to react quickly and correctly when I do.
Jewelgen has recovered well and generally trusts me in play. I have come back even more confident than before and confidence is what I breathe. I am a Dom.
Much Ado About Punching
Dec 31st
I was recently asked about punching in play on an anonymous question forum. I believe the question was prompted by some recent mentions of a play date that involved some fist pounding.
The question was this; “For your impact play (as in punching) what medical training have you gone through to perform it safely?”
I think this is an interesting question and due to the nature of the forum I cannot tell if it was posited as a legitimate query of interest or a bit of a snarky jab. But either way I have expanded on my answer here;
The simple answer is NONE! and quite frankly I don’t believe there is any amount of “Training” that can make punching or many other forms of edge play safe. At the same time as someone who spent a substantial part of his first quarter century punching and being punched I wonder if I don’t know more about it than most medical professionals. I have had my nose broken, lower teeth pushed through my lip and I have pissed blood for a week more than one time. I have delivered blows that made men feel like they were in a car wreck. I lived through all of them and learned much from them.
When I truly punch someone it is to either protect myself or punish the recipient, my target exist somewhere behind the body mass I am punching and as my arm is extended it is beginning the reflexive withdraw for the next blow. Would I do this in a scene? Never! Could this be done with any medical safety? Unlikely,and I hope not. This is my weapon and it has served me well. Not to mention that the most likely first target is somewhere on the cranium of my intended recipient.
I started pondering this question when I first had a bottom mention to me that she liked to be punched. I wondered first of all what did she mean by “Punched” and quickly found that what she thought of as punching was far lighter than what I would consider a punch. The play she described and had experienced as well as what I find that many people refer to as punching in a scene I would consider a percussive pounding using my fist. The force of these blows I would say are less than my punch by a magnitude of 5 or more.
Does this pounding carry some medical danger. I would say yes as would any play that can impact or bruise the skin or muscle tissue.
This brings us to the question of SSK (Safe, Sane, Consensual) vs. Rack (Risk Accepted Consensual Kink). In my not so humble opinion Safe is a ludicrous word to use in what we do. If it was safe it would hold little interest for many. Do I do my very best to understand and control the risk associated with what I do, and do I carefully inform my partners as to what I perceive the risk to be and what I will do to mitigate it? Absolutely.
When asked at a recent play party by someone I had agreed to play with if I would include some punching, I clarified that she was referring to the percussive impact using my fists. I find that it is very often the back side of a clenched fist adjacent to the pinky that is very effective. This is commonly referred to as a hammer fist. An advantage of this area is it is mostly muscle tissue without the bony impact of the front of the fist. I also am fond of reaching around the person and using the top of my clenched fist near my thumb. I find that this incorporates the control and dominant positioning associated with “Take Down” as well as a limited impact pounding.
Recently I was asked by a bottom to consider punching her in the stomach hard enough to lift her off off her feet and knock the wind out of her. Am I considering? Yes as a matter of fact I am.
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