Comments on: Keep Your Ejaculate Out Of My Cocktail http://say-nine.com/01/keep-your-ejaculate-out-of-my-cocktail/ This Is Going To Hurt You More Than It Hurts Me Fri, 09 Mar 2012 08:57:25 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Kyle http://say-nine.com/01/keep-your-ejaculate-out-of-my-cocktail/comment-page-1/#comment-58 Kyle Thu, 21 Jan 2010 02:27:24 +0000 http://say-nine.com/?p=110#comment-58 For the most part BDSM is very sexually stimulating for me, however I have played where there was no sexual involvement. That said, I agree that as a sub, the use of sexual stimulation along with pain and mental challenges is a big part of the appeal for me. I guess this is a case of knowing what you want out of your kink experience and patronizing those places that suit you.<br><br>As for alcohol, I'll relate this story about my recent (and first) dungeon trip with Roxy: in the weeks leading up to my visit, we talked a lot about our expectations and what questions I might have about the venue and expected activities. I had some nervousness about being exposed, but I was mostly worried that I would lose my nerve and embarrass us both. I said that I'd like to have a shot before heading to the dungeon, to help smooth things out. Roxy was very good, saying if I thought I needed one, that was alright, but cautioning me about being inebriated. About a day or so before my visit, I told her that I'd decided to forgo alcohol and do it sober. She was a very proud Sir and I ended up being very proud of myself too. The reward of going into that new situation without any blunting of the senses was huge. I got a wonderful natural high and was so much more aware then I would have been otherwise. I was aware of the gorgeous subtleties in her manipulation of me, aware of all the sensations she was causing in me. <br><br>In retrospect, and reading what you say above about alcohol and BDSM, I totally agree. I want my Top to be in top form and I want myself and any sub I'm topping to be aware of their true limits. It's safer and ends up being a better over all experience. For the most part BDSM is very sexually stimulating for me, however I have played where there was no sexual involvement. That said, I agree that as a sub, the use of sexual stimulation along with pain and mental challenges is a big part of the appeal for me. I guess this is a case of knowing what you want out of your kink experience and patronizing those places that suit you.

As for alcohol, I'll relate this story about my recent (and first) dungeon trip with Roxy: in the weeks leading up to my visit, we talked a lot about our expectations and what questions I might have about the venue and expected activities. I had some nervousness about being exposed, but I was mostly worried that I would lose my nerve and embarrass us both. I said that I'd like to have a shot before heading to the dungeon, to help smooth things out. Roxy was very good, saying if I thought I needed one, that was alright, but cautioning me about being inebriated. About a day or so before my visit, I told her that I'd decided to forgo alcohol and do it sober. She was a very proud Sir and I ended up being very proud of myself too. The reward of going into that new situation without any blunting of the senses was huge. I got a wonderful natural high and was so much more aware then I would have been otherwise. I was aware of the gorgeous subtleties in her manipulation of me, aware of all the sensations she was causing in me.

In retrospect, and reading what you say above about alcohol and BDSM, I totally agree. I want my Top to be in top form and I want myself and any sub I'm topping to be aware of their true limits. It's safer and ends up being a better over all experience.

]]> By: Lady HotchKiss http://say-nine.com/01/keep-your-ejaculate-out-of-my-cocktail/comment-page-1/#comment-56 Lady HotchKiss Wed, 20 Jan 2010 20:01:32 +0000 http://say-nine.com/?p=110#comment-56 The dungeon in ATL has a special night for intercourse . . . which I find as odd as many other things! For Me, BDSM can include sex or not; depends on who I am playing with. We have a lot of people that get squicked out by entry level stuff and I'm sure there would be complaints about sex . . . it is a commercial enterprise and they make their own decisions. I will point of that there are LOTS of private (in-home) dungeons in Atlanta though.<br><br>As for alcohol . . . at home I have been known to have a drink before/during play . . . just depends on the sort of play. The dungeon in ATL has a special night for intercourse . . . which I find as odd as many other things! For Me, BDSM can include sex or not; depends on who I am playing with. We have a lot of people that get squicked out by entry level stuff and I'm sure there would be complaints about sex . . . it is a commercial enterprise and they make their own decisions. I will point of that there are LOTS of private (in-home) dungeons in Atlanta though.

As for alcohol . . . at home I have been known to have a drink before/during play . . . just depends on the sort of play.

]]> By: A http://say-nine.com/01/keep-your-ejaculate-out-of-my-cocktail/comment-page-1/#comment-55 A Wed, 20 Jan 2010 19:43:09 +0000 http://say-nine.com/?p=110#comment-55 As far as sex and play goes, I like to think of it like I would in any sexual situation: just be safe. Barriers are good; items to soak up fluids (i.e. towels) are good. Banning sexual contact altogether is just ridiculous. It's practically Puritan, which is ironic since you're talking about banning an "illicit action" in a community teeming with equally or more "illicit actions." I don't use sex in play all the time, but I likely wouldn't play in a public space where I couldn't use sex in the event that I wanted to.<br><br>As far as mixing alcohol and play... I have only one word to say: RED. As far as sex and play goes, I like to think of it like I would in any sexual situation: just be safe. Barriers are good; items to soak up fluids (i.e. towels) are good. Banning sexual contact altogether is just ridiculous. It's practically Puritan, which is ironic since you're talking about banning an “illicit action” in a community teeming with equally or more “illicit actions.” I don't use sex in play all the time, but I likely wouldn't play in a public space where I couldn't use sex in the event that I wanted to.

As far as mixing alcohol and play… I have only one word to say: RED.

]]> By: Nadia West http://say-nine.com/01/keep-your-ejaculate-out-of-my-cocktail/comment-page-1/#comment-54 Nadia West Wed, 20 Jan 2010 19:05:06 +0000 http://say-nine.com/?p=110#comment-54 My Dom and I often go to swing clubs and do some bdsm play there because we prefer sex with our bdsm. I think sometimes the vanilla swingers are weirded out, but often people are fascinated. We do limit our activities to things like spanking/flogging though. I don't think we'd ever do needle play there! We've been to the bdsm club here in NYC but sex is not allowed (thank you repressive laws!) and while you can certainly have fun without sex, it's just kinda frustrating to people like us who like to come at the end of it all. My Dom and I often go to swing clubs and do some bdsm play there because we prefer sex with our bdsm. I think sometimes the vanilla swingers are weirded out, but often people are fascinated. We do limit our activities to things like spanking/flogging though. I don't think we'd ever do needle play there! We've been to the bdsm club here in NYC but sex is not allowed (thank you repressive laws!) and while you can certainly have fun without sex, it's just kinda frustrating to people like us who like to come at the end of it all.

]]> By: pixie http://say-nine.com/01/keep-your-ejaculate-out-of-my-cocktail/comment-page-1/#comment-53 pixie Wed, 20 Jan 2010 19:00:21 +0000 http://say-nine.com/?p=110#comment-53 wow interesting indeed. 1st, i think alcohol at any kink related event is stupid and dangerous! The sex part though is so questionable. There are 2 dungeons I frequent in Arizona. 1 has a no fluids rule, and one does not. The no fluid rule simply means, there needs to be protection for contact - condoms, gloves, what not .. however kissing at some point even became a topic of conversation. Sex is allowed in both (last I knew, this may have changed in one/both) and I too can say I think in all my visits, less than a handful between the two have I seen it. Full on sex is rarely the "purpose" of our life style events. <br><br>I myself dont think sex itself really needs to be done in the dungeon and public play space, but I would also be the last one to "vote against it" - I think to each their own and enjoyment! (and yes I voyeur in my would watch and enjoy still! call me a hypocrite! lol) <br><br>Sexual contact, stimulation ... orgasms, those however can all be part of the scene/even part of the purpose of the scene, without sex. Its not required of course, but, I think for a large majority at a public Dungeon, that "sexual energy/arousal/contact" is the point in the power exchange for that moment. <br><br>It seems ridiculous (to us normal folk lol ) that the Dungeon in reference in your post even exist .. it would be interestingthough to attend and see their dynamic .. it must work for them. wow interesting indeed. 1st, i think alcohol at any kink related event is stupid and dangerous! The sex part though is so questionable. There are 2 dungeons I frequent in Arizona. 1 has a no fluids rule, and one does not. The no fluid rule simply means, there needs to be protection for contact – condoms, gloves, what not .. however kissing at some point even became a topic of conversation. Sex is allowed in both (last I knew, this may have changed in one/both) and I too can say I think in all my visits, less than a handful between the two have I seen it. Full on sex is rarely the “purpose” of our life style events.

I myself dont think sex itself really needs to be done in the dungeon and public play space, but I would also be the last one to “vote against it” – I think to each their own and enjoyment! (and yes I voyeur in my would watch and enjoy still! call me a hypocrite! lol)

Sexual contact, stimulation … orgasms, those however can all be part of the scene/even part of the purpose of the scene, without sex. Its not required of course, but, I think for a large majority at a public Dungeon, that “sexual energy/arousal/contact” is the point in the power exchange for that moment.

It seems ridiculous (to us normal folk lol ) that the Dungeon in reference in your post even exist .. it would be interestingthough to attend and see their dynamic .. it must work for them.

]]> By: britisshameless http://say-nine.com/01/keep-your-ejaculate-out-of-my-cocktail/comment-page-1/#comment-52 britisshameless Wed, 20 Jan 2010 18:36:04 +0000 http://say-nine.com/?p=110#comment-52 You bring up a few different, and valid points in this post.<br><br>A) Sex and BDSM. For me, they go hand-in-hand. For many, they do not. HOWEVER...<br><br>B) Sex in the Dungeon. I'm going to include play parties/fetish parties in this, because the majority of my experiences are there. Sex is "technically" not allowed. While, for Profligacy and I, our BDSM and sex go together, we were very much able to enjoy our public scene that was strictly BDSM and fuck later. We understood and respected the rules. HOWEVER...<br><br>C) If you *do* allow sex/nekkid play outside of the BDSM realm, to ban ejaculation makes no sense. But, FINE. Say you ban male ejaculation. To ban female ejaculation? They're not the same! Guys can, for the most part, control their ejaculate. Us chicks? We can't. If I'm getting fingered, I can't pick and choose when I squirt and when I don't.<br><br>Fucked up. And to equate ejaculate, a normal bodily function related to sex, to scat? NOT THE SAME. You bring up a few different, and valid points in this post.

A) Sex and BDSM. For me, they go hand-in-hand. For many, they do not. HOWEVER…

B) Sex in the Dungeon. I'm going to include play parties/fetish parties in this, because the majority of my experiences are there. Sex is “technically” not allowed. While, for Profligacy and I, our BDSM and sex go together, we were very much able to enjoy our public scene that was strictly BDSM and fuck later. We understood and respected the rules. HOWEVER…

C) If you *do* allow sex/nekkid play outside of the BDSM realm, to ban ejaculation makes no sense. But, FINE. Say you ban male ejaculation. To ban female ejaculation? They're not the same! Guys can, for the most part, control their ejaculate. Us chicks? We can't. If I'm getting fingered, I can't pick and choose when I squirt and when I don't.

Fucked up. And to equate ejaculate, a normal bodily function related to sex, to scat? NOT THE SAME.

]]> By: uberVU - social comments http://say-nine.com/01/keep-your-ejaculate-out-of-my-cocktail/comment-page-1/#comment-57 uberVU - social comments Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:50:40 +0000 http://say-nine.com/?p=110#comment-57 <strong>Social comments and analytics for this post...</strong> This post was mentioned on Twitter by saynine: Keep Your Ejaculate Out Of My Cocktail http://dey5m.th8.us (New Blog Post)... Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by saynine: Keep Your Ejaculate Out Of My Cocktail http://dey5m.th8.us (New Blog Post)…

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